we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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