Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
