I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
