I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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