And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I need a beard to bite.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
