Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
