Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
