I smell stomach acid.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
