I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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