My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
