I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
