Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize