I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
