Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
