That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Randomize
