Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
