There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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