why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
wow bdsm is so cute
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
