It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
