Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
