No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
