it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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