Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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