you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
