Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Hippo gnu deer
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
