Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
