Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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