somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
