I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
