WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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