six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
