I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
