It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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