Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
