that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it was like his penis was on wheels.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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