at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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