shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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