I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
