his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize