Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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