is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
