Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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