Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
