Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My breasts were aching with rage.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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