why didn't you poke me back
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize