I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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