No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
