her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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