I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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