You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
