He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm like, not good at living.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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