Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize