Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
