yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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