i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize