so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
