Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
