Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
