Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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