Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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